Happy kid or escapist?
I have a colleague who said I'm a happy kid. Actually, I think I'm more of an escapist. I love the idea of a beautiful and wonderful world, but have a low threshold for the ugly reality.Take my family for example. My late night pillow conservations with my mom often revolves around how late my brothers are staying up till, how much excess computer games they play, how we kids are not contributing to the family enough, how the family is kinda falling apart in pieces... These used to be intimate conversations between my mom and I, when I felt like I'm sharing the load. Now, it just depresses and distresses me.
Perhaps because I've learnt how things are not gonna change if all we do is complain about it. No offence to my mom, I know she gave us her all but I kinda think it's how we were brought up, how we were always taken care of and it's too late to change unless we do something drastic. So when my mom complains, the helplessness just make me angry. I even wanna cry sometimes. Other times, it makes me toss and turn and even lose sleep.
Times like these, I think ignorance is bliss. Sometimes, I think I'd rather not know. And live in my own painted world, that is at least within my control. Call me pampered. But what's wrong with seeing only the good stuff, the better side of things?
Guess if I ever meet with some catastrophe though, I'd either fall flat on my face and never get up again, or happily live in the ignorance of my own self-delusion.
posted by weiling @ 12:44 PM
1 Comments:
Acknowledging your helplessness/weaknesses is the first step to becoming stronger. At least you now know where your limits lie and how you can overcome them. Stay idealistic and dont be too hard on yourself :)
Anyway, daring to cry is also a show of strength sometimes. Take it easy and remind youself that life still goes on and there're more adventures up ahead. Good or bad adventures, it's all up to how you perceive them :)
PS. To stay idealistic and not become jaded is also a valuable skill in this cynical world. Stay the way you are if it makes you happy, who cares what others say. (^ ^)Y
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